Vivi La Vita

Stop the Hurt

PLEASE TAKE JUST A FEW MINUTES OUT OF YOUR DAY TO READ THIS.

I’m going to give a list of reason, but keep in mind there are so many that I can’t post them all and give the attention each would need.

Bullying

Rape

Gender

Transgender

Gay

Race

Background

These are not even close to all the possible reasons!


Bullying can be all of the lists above and more as well as simply being a bully, so just remember before you act or say something just because someone is in some way different than yourself, the outcome can be far worse than even you intended.

The words you use can impact others as well as the tone you choose to use.

Watch the short film or don’t but please continue to read.

It’s not enough to just stop bullying, We have to recognize all the forms of bullying so that we can bring awareness.

One form of bullying I didn’t mention in the list and we really don’t think of it as bullying, but it really is. Parents that push their kids to strive for greatness is fine, but not when the pressure becomes unbearable to the child.

Sometimes the pressure put on a child to be better and do better can be more than you meant it to be and for the child more than they know how to cope with.

Something to keep in mind is that someone hurting may know there are those of us out there wanting to help, but it’s not always what they are looking for or needing. The ones closest to them or maybe even the ones that have caused the hurt are who they need to come save them.

Accountability is sometimes more important than trying to heal them!

Once they see this the healing will begin.

I claim not to be a professional about this subject or any that I discuss here, all I can do is talk about the things I’ve seen, read, studied, and yes experienced in my own life.

When I was young I was bullied and felt alone and never told anyone about the things that happened to me or how they impacted my life and while growing into an adult. I was beaten at the school and events that kept me in fear of having to start another day and what would happen. It hardened my heart which made me unable to love, but it also did far worse because as I grew I knew right from wrong BUT when the things kept happening and there was never accountability the line between right and wrong became more and more faded.

I’ve never been what you might call a big man but I did become strong, not only physically but mentally so I learned to stand my ground when approached by a bully, the limit of anger I released was more than I should have ever let happen. One day a friend sat me down and talked about the things I had done and that sent me to another place, now I was afraid of not being bullied but afraid of what I could do. I even have commented that I’m glad I wasn’t born a big man for if I had been I would have lived in fear of the damage I may have caused someone else to suffer.

Gender or Transgender is something that so many have had to deal with.

The photo’s above are two transgenders both born completely opposite of what they felt like.

I have a transgender son that I raised as my daughter, but had I known how he felt and how I was making him feel I would have never done it. I knew at that time (SHE) was a tomboy and that was in my eyes cute and I loved the way she always wanted to do tomboyish things, but I had no idea just how she really felt.

I knew she always felt out of place but ya know I did too when I was young and thought I was relating to how she felt, I remember once taking my TWIN daughters to a school dance, daughter #1 was always very girly and had no problem fitting in and dancing as most young girls would, but daughter #2 was a wallflower, I took her and danced with her myself until she felt better and started to join in with the others.

As she grew she finally told me and the family how she really felt, We all became supportive and have since learned that our transgender son was now happier than he ever was while growing up. I can’t even imagine how hard it was for him until I started putting myself in his place.

Think about it as if it were you, I’m not talking about the way you dressed or the toys you played with, I’m talking about using the restroom and feeling terribly out of place or looking in a mirror expecting to see boy or girl only to see something that didn’t even seem real. It would be like living in a dream world that you couldn’t escape from! You have to really THINK about how your life would have felt to you if this was who you were but nobody saw you and you couldn’t even see the real you but you knew you were there somewhere.

I think this is the main problem with any of these subjects, We never stop long enough to THINK what if the victims were US or our CHILDREN. Would we still not give them the attention they deserve?

I give all of you a challenge!

Pick 1 of these subjects and don’t think of it as a blog but think of it as it’s your story or your child’s story and let the world KNOW how it makes you feel.

We can change the world and how it views all of these subjects, not with words but actions so we can erase them forever.


 

20 Replies to “Stop the Hurt”

      1. My pleasure! I agree there is something beautiful in the rawness of personal experience that speaks louder to those reading so I hope that others feel the acceptance they are searching for, and have a safe space to speak freely.

        Liked by 2 people

  1. Brilliant! I’m so glad your son has such a compassionate & supportive father to be there for him, & help guide him, & to let him be himself!! A lot of people don’t have that, & it’s a shame. Thank you for sharing your truth & raising awareness. It’s a tough subject, but we need to shine a light on it! Kudos to you, my friend!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you my friend for actually reading the entire blog, I know it was a bit long but I had a lot to say. J is a wonderful son and he has grown into such a great young man! I love all my children and try my best to support each of them with their life choices, and I hope that others that need someone will see that we are out here for them even if we may not be the ones they hoped would hear their cries.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. This post and the movie were hard to watch, having been subject to bullying myself, and since a close friend’s nephew has died over the last few days from taking his own life :o(
    Thank you for raising these complex topics and being so honest and candid about your own experiences – it is refreshing and in my opinion, essential to raising awareness and action in relation to this sad issue. Good on ya, mate!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. We as human beings HAVE to do our best to stop these pointless deaths of our young ones. If we don’t then not only do we lose precious lives but I feel when it’s our turn to die we should have to pay for doing nothing. awareness is a start, but strong actions must be taken against those that are the root cause! If actions are taken and everywhere you look there are people helping then maybe more will come forward with their stories and seek the help they deserve.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. I completely agree. I believe the one huge thing that is missing is the unconditional support of these kids, and their empowerment. Until then, the bullies will always win. No one seems to have the courage to stand against this behaviour, and in the meantime, previous lives are being ruined, or lost 😕

        Liked by 4 people

  3. Interesting read. Growing up, I was emotionally sensitive for no apparent reason. I might sound crazy, but being hated on was something that actually got me traumatized, and it seems to be permanent as I’m not over twenty four years old. I avoided people from my school almost one hundred percent because of their behavior. My family made me convinced that unless I change things or people for the better, that I’m a failure because now the future generations might live being treated like I was and I didn’t make a difference, and that my life is punishment as a result. Honestly, I never found consolation because I’ve never been able to change the past.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. I don’t know how to correlate with you it’s never easy though dealing with numbing sense of being isolated into solidarity.

      One biggest challenge for me is I never been able to have correlation with passive people I simply don’t know how to comprehend.

      I was taught by my father

      “No matter how many dips in the fire your thrashed into never stop becoming the sword”

      No one ever wants to be without humanity for me I enjoy the solace of be able to meditate with myself in Solace.

      If you know what your made of then you need to willing to take the hits ….

      Fall in 7 Up in 8 Japanese Proverb

      Luas dia I do thuras Macm545 message me anytime you need someone to listen or just simply be there.

      https://evolutionofselffeedyourhunger.wordpress.com/2019/08/31/the-stalker-of-the-night/

      Alex

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Hope you saw it on Facebook James

    The deepest scars of unspeakable sadistic consequences are not seen are hidden entrenched deep with seared with decaying salt as reminder from the dips in the fire that try to break , ripped you into fucking nothing.

    So when others see a Smile as delight or moment of joy…for others like myself its mask you wear to conceal the raw truth which is evident.

    Smile has many meanings of joy and can be mirage of deception

    https://evolutionofselffeedyourhunger.wordpress.com/2019/09/30/suffocated-into-silence/

    Alex

    Liked by 1 person

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